Storm

What does heartbreak feel like?
So many things nothingness can hold. So many demons to keep you company through the loneliness. Its fascinating, watching yourself fall through the deepest, darkest corners of your lovestruck soul. Self doubt, guilt, anger, fear.

So many demons to keep you company. What does it feel like?
As the tornado in your gut dances its way up into your heart, making it beat faster, ache more...with every thought and memory, every second, it just beats a little faster. Aches a little more.
Until it's pounding in your chest and melts into warmth in your eyes, your head spins and it hurts to breathe. You would, yesterday, fall back into loving arms but you today find yourself being caressed...scratched by their shadows as you delve deeper into the horror that is grief. Loss. Leaving ever healing scars on your face.

This lasts, you realise, only for a moment. Among the wreck the weather within you left, you pull yourself together again, wipe away the tears, your breath gets slower and deeper, calculated. You try to see the light again. Pretend that second of relief is real and the next moment follows and you remember you didn't have to force yourself to breathe normal yesterday.

So many demons to keep you company, dancing in the storm that brews inside you over and over again, words drowning within themselves and your screams inside, muffled and choked because you know nobody will hear them.
You begin being afraid to fix yourself because you dont want to be broken again. You befriend those demons, dance with them, fall deeper and deeper into the shadows till you become one.
A shadow. Dancing in the storm that brews inside you. Over and over again.

And only you get to admire the beauty of it.